There's an awkward silence. What happened to the Kalim from a moment ago who'd been able to piece things together himself?
Right, well... Jamil says hesitantly. It's a good thing that he can stay out of sight much more easily in this form, and also that he can't humiliate himself by blushing when he's having big feelings he's struggling to communicate. I don't like him, but if I told you to dump him you'd be intolerable. So.
"I wouldn't," Kalim protests at first, but then he hesitates a moment. "Well... I'd be really sad, so I guess..." He makes another futile attempt to look round at the snake at the back of his neck. "Are... d'you mean I don't have to...?"
Maybe, Jamil grumbles, still unresponsive to Kalim's troubles, which is the best he can do right now. He still doesn't love this, but he feels reluctant to push it. I don't know. Something about it doesn't feel right, I guess.
"Jamil..." Kalim sniffles gratefully. "I will, I'll try, I promise. I meant it when I said I want to, to do stuff you're okay with. Just, tell me, okay? If you don't want us to do that stuff when you're home, or... anything else. If you tell me I won't do it."
Jamil pauses to seriously consider this. He still doesn't love that Kalim is so attached to Five, and if it wouldn't make him feel like a huge asshole he probably would prefer they break up, but...
Veto power could be worth it. Especially since, given the circumstances, it would hardly make sense to extend the same privilege to Five. It does kind of give Jamil a smug sense of gratification to think he can at least control how and when they do things. Or at least kick them out of the house whenever he wants.
Fine, he says, and finally crawls down Kalim's shoulder and arm to curl around his wrist instead, so Kalim can at least see him. I suppose that's an acceptable compromise.
Jamil doesn't actually have an answer for this right away. Most of his ridiculous daydreams about resolving this scenario were mostly about wringing Five's insufferable little neck, not controlling what they were allowed to do. That just hadn't occurred to him. These are new and interesting circumstances.
Don't do it in front of me, he says decisively. I know you're going to do it anyway, but I don't want to see it. The rest, I'll... have to think about.
(After all, he doesn't want to overplay his hand if peace is going to be kept. Maybe. Yet, anyway.)
Kalim smiles -- Jamil will be able to feel his face moving -- and nods.
"Yeah, I can do that." He finally relaxes slightly, although he doesn't lower his hand. Jamil is getting held against Kalim's cheek until he slithers away or bites him in the face. "And just... let me know what else, when you decide, okay?"
Jamil does wriggle away, but flicks his tongue against Kalim's cheek as he goes. Involuntarily, shut up.
You'll know when I think of something.
From here the only place to go is really just the back of Kalim's head. Jamil noses along the filigree as he looks for a place to settle. At this perspective the hollow space in Kalim's skull parses differently than when Jamil is at his normal height and looking at Kalim from the back, and the first thing he thinks now is that the cavity is almost the perfect size and shape for--
Nope. No. He is not going there.
Help me find someplace to sleep for now, he says--unintentionally commands?--and hopes Kalim does not make the same connection he just did.
It doesn't occur to him at all -- he's actually never put anything in there at all until now, because it's always just been easier not to think about it.
"Okay!" Kalim straightens up to do just that, because he doesn't really have a choice. But, speaking of that... "Oh, Jamil, you should know -- if you tell me to do something I kind of have to do it," he says, surveying the room with his hands on his hips. "Or, well, it's really hard not to, my Natural Soul seriously doesn't like it when I don't, haha. So if I'm doing something you don't like you can always just tell me to stop right away!"
"Huh? Uh, I don't know, a while? It just didn't come up..." He lifts a hand to awkwardly rub the back of his neck, but then he remembers Jamil is there and lets it drop. "And mostly it's been fine, nobody's ever... Well, I mean, sometimes someone will say something and I've gotta do it, but usually it's just stuff I would've done anyway, like 'hand me that spoon' or 'come look at this', stuff like that!"
A WHILE--you need to tell me these things immediately! This is a huge security risk! Just because someone hasn't told you to do something worse YET...
Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that he's so small by default now--clearly he won't be able to let Kalim out of his sight going forward. Who knows what his scatterbrain could get up to?
"I'm sorry!" Kalim says, raising both hands in surrender. "It just didn't seem like a super big deal, and I didn't want to make you worry..."
If those two statements contradict each other no they don't!
"Anyway, um, it doesn't work as well if you say it like 'you need to do this', or if you ask. You can just say 'Tell me these things immediately' and then I'll have to."
If he sounds kind of weirdly keen about that. No he doesn't.
What? I'm not going to do it on purpose, Kalim, that's...
Jamil trails off, because there's no way to complete that sentence that doesn't also apply to what Jamil had already done to Kalim plenty during that time period they never talk about, and also...
...he isn't distracted thinking about the implications of it or anything. After a second he mentally shakes himself back to the present, grateful he doesn't have much of a face like this.
...A-Anyway, that's another rule, then. You have to tell me things like this.
(Not that this has anything to do with relationship boundaries...)
"Okay... I will." Kalim sounds just a tiny bit reluctant, but he agrees -- and not just because his Golem soul insists. He pauses, taking another look around the room.
"...It's really okay if you do it on purpose, though. I don't mind. It's kind of nice to just not have to think about it."
Kalim, it's not a good thing! And it's a topic of conversation Jamil is quickly becoming uncomfortable with! Just--
He almost says something like just focus or just get back on task but realizes just in time that anything he's about to say would be a command, and that is a very loaded thing to invoke right at this moment. He takes a moment to reconsider his phrasing and then says, pointedly, in his most pleasant and child-herding tone of voice:
Why don't you just go find a box for now? There might be something in the kitchen that could work. We can figure out the rest from there.
Kalim sighs, a little disappointed. He really thought Jamil would go for it, and he's not sure what the problem is, exactly...
“A box...?" He sounds unsure about that, too. "Wouldn't it be kind of a bummer to sleep in a box from the kitchen? Maybe if we had a nice one, like one of my jewellery boxes from home..."
He hums, frowning... and then something occurs to him. One hand goes to his brand new chest lid, and he fidgets it open.
"You know... I bet you could fit in here. Then it'd be warm, at least, and we could still be touching without, y'know, having to worry about me rolling over and squashing you."
Jamil hesitates. Kalim has a point--and being able to sleep while touching him would do a lot to quell Jamil's anxiety--not to mention, it's less weird than the skull idea. The drawbacks are that it does look a little cramped, and it's also only slightly less weird than the skull idea.
...All right, he says after a while, dubiously. There's just something really unsettling about the idea of physically riding around in any part of Kalim's body, but he doesn't have another objection. I suppose it's worth a try.
Beaming, Kalim reaches his hand round to the back of his neck for Jamil to climb onto.
"Yeah, maybe it'll be cosy!" he says as he brings him round to the front and holds him up to his chest. "And you'll be able to look out of the little holes."
For a moment Kalim is confused, because he knows he hasn't had the time to put anything else in there, but...
"Oh," he says, alarmed, lifting Jamil back up. "Gosh, sorry, I completely forgot! Ah, um... Well... I can clean it, but... if you want to rest while I do that, what about my head?"
The idea feels weirder to him, too, than his chest, but... it would have all the same advantages. Jamil has to rest somewhere, and with him now either tiny or incorporeal, Kalim would feel a lot better if he was close by.
Jamil continues to wriggle in discomfort for a few seconds, because that is the Inside Of Kalim's Skull they are talking about. Jamil's own hands have been in there. It still makes no sense how Kalim can even walk and talk unscathed with his brain like that--but also, it would mean constant and convenient physical contact, and they really don't have a better alternative. Realistically, the only other option is Kalim's shoulders, and it's incredibly hard to maintain traction on the gold after a while.
So, they're doing this. Great.
F... Fine, he says reluctantly, after several moments of writhing. Just... be careful, all right?
"I will!" Kalim promises, and, bracing himself for how weird he's sure this is going to feel, reaches back with both hands -- one to open the lid and one to hold Jamil up to the hole. He doesn't actually need to open it, because some of the gaps in the filigree are large enough for Jamil to wiggle through on his own, but it feels like it would be rude not to. "Okay, um, can you get inside like that...?"
Unfortunately, yeah. Jamil enters tentatively, tail-first, like he's checking the temperature of pool water. It's warmer in there than he expects it to be, which is disturbing in its own right, but it's better than the alternative. He slips from Kalim's hand and fully into the cavity. It's disquietingly easy to settle like this, tucked into the back of Kalim's head--the space where his brain should be feels almost perfectly shaped for Jamil's new body, providing structure to curl up in but also enough space to move around as he likes. And like this, he can feel Kalim all around him.
It isn't comforting, he insists to himself. It's really, really weird. There was a time when he would have considered this the worst feeling in the world. But right now, it isn't... bad. It's even reassuring, to feel Kalim constantly right there and know nothing has happened to him since the last time he looked.
He inspects the edges of the space a bit, wriggling around on the gold interior. Um. Can you feel that?
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Right, well... Jamil says hesitantly. It's a good thing that he can stay out of sight much more easily in this form, and also that he can't humiliate himself by blushing when he's having big feelings he's struggling to communicate. I don't like him, but if I told you to dump him you'd be intolerable. So.
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He pauses.
Just... try to have a better sense of timing.
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Veto power could be worth it. Especially since, given the circumstances, it would hardly make sense to extend the same privilege to Five. It does kind of give Jamil a smug sense of gratification to think he can at least control how and when they do things. Or at least kick them out of the house whenever he wants.
Fine, he says, and finally crawls down Kalim's shoulder and arm to curl around his wrist instead, so Kalim can at least see him. I suppose that's an acceptable compromise.
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"Thank you," he hiccups. "I really didn't know you hated it so much. I'm sorry. Wh-what do you want me to do?"
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Don't do it in front of me, he says decisively. I know you're going to do it anyway, but I don't want to see it. The rest, I'll... have to think about.
(After all, he doesn't want to overplay his hand if peace is going to be kept. Maybe. Yet, anyway.)
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"Yeah, I can do that." He finally relaxes slightly, although he doesn't lower his hand. Jamil is getting held against Kalim's cheek until he slithers away or bites him in the face. "And just... let me know what else, when you decide, okay?"
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You'll know when I think of something.
From here the only place to go is really just the back of Kalim's head. Jamil noses along the filigree as he looks for a place to settle. At this perspective the hollow space in Kalim's skull parses differently than when Jamil is at his normal height and looking at Kalim from the back, and the first thing he thinks now is that the cavity is almost the perfect size and shape for--
Nope. No. He is not going there.
Help me find someplace to sleep for now, he says--unintentionally commands?--and hopes Kalim does not make the same connection he just did.
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"Okay!" Kalim straightens up to do just that, because he doesn't really have a choice. But, speaking of that... "Oh, Jamil, you should know -- if you tell me to do something I kind of have to do it," he says, surveying the room with his hands on his hips. "Or, well, it's really hard not to, my Natural Soul seriously doesn't like it when I don't, haha. So if I'm doing something you don't like you can always just tell me to stop right away!"
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You--WHAT?! For how long? Why didn't you tell me? Who's been telling you to do things?? (His tail whaps against the back of Kalim's neck in distress.)
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"Huh? Uh, I don't know, a while? It just didn't come up..." He lifts a hand to awkwardly rub the back of his neck, but then he remembers Jamil is there and lets it drop. "And mostly it's been fine, nobody's ever... Well, I mean, sometimes someone will say something and I've gotta do it, but usually it's just stuff I would've done anyway, like 'hand me that spoon' or 'come look at this', stuff like that!"
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A WHILE--you need to tell me these things immediately! This is a huge security risk! Just because someone hasn't told you to do something worse YET...
Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that he's so small by default now--clearly he won't be able to let Kalim out of his sight going forward. Who knows what his scatterbrain could get up to?
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If those two statements contradict each other no they don't!
"Anyway, um, it doesn't work as well if you say it like 'you need to do this', or if you ask. You can just say 'Tell me these things immediately' and then I'll have to."
If he sounds kind of weirdly keen about that. No he doesn't.
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Jamil trails off, because there's no way to complete that sentence that doesn't also apply to what Jamil had already done to Kalim plenty during that time period they never talk about, and also...
...he isn't distracted thinking about the implications of it or anything. After a second he mentally shakes himself back to the present, grateful he doesn't have much of a face like this.
...A-Anyway, that's another rule, then. You have to tell me things like this.
(Not that this has anything to do with relationship boundaries...)
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"...It's really okay if you do it on purpose, though. I don't mind. It's kind of nice to just not have to think about it."
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He almost says something like just focus or just get back on task but realizes just in time that anything he's about to say would be a command, and that is a very loaded thing to invoke right at this moment. He takes a moment to reconsider his phrasing and then says, pointedly, in his most pleasant and child-herding tone of voice:
Why don't you just go find a box for now? There might be something in the kitchen that could work. We can figure out the rest from there.
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“A box...?" He sounds unsure about that, too. "Wouldn't it be kind of a bummer to sleep in a box from the kitchen? Maybe if we had a nice one, like one of my jewellery boxes from home..."
He hums, frowning... and then something occurs to him. One hand goes to his brand new chest lid, and he fidgets it open.
"You know... I bet you could fit in here. Then it'd be warm, at least, and we could still be touching without, y'know, having to worry about me rolling over and squashing you."
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...All right, he says after a while, dubiously. There's just something really unsettling about the idea of physically riding around in any part of Kalim's body, but he doesn't have another objection. I suppose it's worth a try.
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"Yeah, maybe it'll be cosy!" he says as he brings him round to the front and holds him up to his chest. "And you'll be able to look out of the little holes."
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Kalim, there's still STUFF IN THERE!
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"Oh," he says, alarmed, lifting Jamil back up. "Gosh, sorry, I completely forgot! Ah, um... Well... I can clean it, but... if you want to rest while I do that, what about my head?"
The idea feels weirder to him, too, than his chest, but... it would have all the same advantages. Jamil has to rest somewhere, and with him now either tiny or incorporeal, Kalim would feel a lot better if he was close by.
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So, they're doing this. Great.
F... Fine, he says reluctantly, after several moments of writhing. Just... be careful, all right?
(What for, he has no idea. It's Just Weird.)
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It isn't comforting, he insists to himself. It's really, really weird. There was a time when he would have considered this the worst feeling in the world. But right now, it isn't... bad. It's even reassuring, to feel Kalim constantly right there and know nothing has happened to him since the last time he looked.
He inspects the edges of the space a bit, wriggling around on the gold interior. Um. Can you feel that?
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