Jamil inhales sharply with shock. He hadn't realized Kalim feels this strongly about this; they'd never really talked about anything that happened. After the disaster of a stunt Jamil pulled over winter break, he'd considered himself lucky to return to the way things were without further repercussions. He'd long since resigned himself to the fact that Night Raven College had been his only chance to pretend at freedom, if only temporary, and he'd already blown that shot. He'd just assumed Kalim had understood the same, and was carrying on with the same silly, flighty, thoughtless, cavalier attitude with which he does everything.

This simple revelation of Kalim's priorities is too overwhelming for Jamil to process. Kalim can't just say things like that. Does he even know how he sounds?

(Of course he doesn't. That's Kalim's privilege, that he can just say whatever he wants without a care what it might mean to other people.)

Standing over Kalim while he's pathetically curled up on the bed suddenly feels exhausting for some reason, but Jamil doesn't really want to sit back down next to him either, so he compromises by sliding down the opposite wall to sit on the floor. There, now they both look pathetic.

"That's not up to you."

He doesn't know what else to say; this isn't a distress he actually knows how to soothe, because the heart of the problem is still that what Kalim wants is impossible. Even if it was up to Kalim, Jamil doesn't even know what "happy" looks like for him. He's certain it isn't anything Kalim could give him.