Jamil goes very still for a moment, the anxiety returning from when Kalim had asked the first time. He's pretty sure he knows what Kalim is actually asking, and it's not--it isn't like he hasn't thought about it, but he isn't ready for that yet. He needs to know exactly how it's going to go first, he doesn't do spontaneity.
And he hasn't figured that out yet (as he tends to get flustered and lose the details in those times that he's tried, in the middle of the night when he's sure Kalim is asleep), so... it can't happen now. Kalim will just have to wait.
Of course, the easiest dodge is to simply pretend like he doesn't know what Kalim means. To try and deescalate things, Jamil gently removes Kalim's hands from his waist under the pretense of needing to return to his Very Important Folding. "Aren't you a little old for that?"
"Noooo," Kalim insists, maturely, flopping onto Jamil's bed and looking up at him hopefully. "You don't have to get up early tomorrow, right? So we could cuddle a little. Or..."
He trails off meaningfully, as if hoping if he doesn't actually say the actual words then Jamil won't get spooked.
Jamil looks at him a moment, chewing this over. It isn't the first time they've shared beds, so he won't be traversing uncharted territory unprepared here, necessarily. And they are in a relationship(?! Jamil is still getting used to thinking of it that way to himself), so it would be a normal thing to do.
And... he'll blame it on their imprint, but it doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world. So.
"Fine," he mumbles eventually, turning back to where he'd left the folded clothing (you know why). "Just let me put these away first."
Jamil ignores him to finish putting things away, making sure it's all away Properly regardless of how much time it takes. If it makes Kalim impatient, that's a bonus. Finally, he returns to the head of the bed and pulls the covers back, his demeanor perfectly businesslike.
"Sure!" says Kalim, scooting over eagerly to make room for him. Jamil has in fact succeeded in making him impatient: he's practically vibrating in place.
As if he'll be getting to sleep now!! Even if the blankets were covering them properly, Jamil is now wide awake after hearing that little declaration. It's not like it's the first time Kalim has ever said it, nor has he ever made any secret of it, but no matter how many times he does it catches Jamil off-guard how easy he makes it sound.
It will never not feel surreal to hear it from him. I love you. He doesn't even care if Jamil says it back.
Which he's never done. For the first time, he considers if he wants to. He immediately tenses with embarrassment at the thought, warm pinpricks traveling from his head down to his feet and almost making him overheat with Kalim right next to him. Worst of all would be the way Kalim would react, so decision made, it's never happening. Kalim will just have to content himself with silence, as always.
Kalim is completely content with silence, not least because he doesn't expect anything different. It's fine! He knows Jamil cares about him because of how he takes care of him even when he doesn't have to, and how flustered he gets about admitting it, and the fact that they're in a relationship now even though it would have been so, so, so much easier and less obviously nervewracking for Jamil if he'd said nothing. And it doesn't matter if Jamil doesn't like Kalim as much as Kalim likes him; the fact that he does at all already feels like a ridiculous dream, except that Malleus would never come up with augmentors and natural souls and katalyth and all that stuff. Kalim is over the moon with just this, even if he really wishes Jamil would hold him or kiss him or shove him down onto the bed and fuck him til he cries.
He shifts a little, trying not to think about that. Fortunately Kalim is really good at not thinking about things, and he has plenty to be occupied with in the present moment regardless. He ventures an arm around Jamil and nuzzles his cheek against the back of his neck.
"You're so warm," he mumbles contentedly. "And you smell so good."
Jamil could leave it there. He could ignore Kalim and pretend to be asleep already until Kalim finally gets the hint and does the same. It would be the smart thing to do, the decision most likely to leave their fragile status quo undisturbed.
Stupidly, he rolls over so that they're face-to-face instead.
"Stop smelling me--" (freak,) "--and go to sleep."
He regrets it immediately, suddenly this close to Kalim looking right at him. Kalim's arm is still around him and his breath is warm against Jamil's face. It reminds Jamil a little too much of those times Jamil had slept in Kalim's bed as children, hidden under the covers and huddling close like they were sharing a secret, when they were still young enough that the difference in their status hadn't yet pulled them irreparably apart. It completely undercuts the stern tone he's trying for.
Kalim smiles at him as if he isn't being chided; as if he's never been happier than he is right now. His eyes are bright in the dark, although he closes them for a moment to nudge his nose against Jamil's.
"I am going to sleep," he promises. "I just -- I missed you. I want to make the most of it."
Jamil's mouth twists like he's unimpressed, but he can't quite mean it like he usually does. His eyes skate away from Kalim's, aiming to look disinterested but instead landing on bashful.
"If I kiss you good night, will you stop pestering me?" he mutters, trying his best to sound put-upon.
Jamil swallows, unsure why his heart is suddenly pounding about something so simple--something they've already done before plenty of times. Something about where they are makes it feel so much more intimate and vulnerable. He doesn't stop to dwell on that, instead pressing his lips softly to Kalim's before he can change his mind. Even after he pulls back there's barely a gap between them.
Kalim opens his mouth to reply, but his Natural Soul stops him. Instead he nods, and for a moment he stays like that, gazing warmly at Jamil, drinking in the sight of him in this quiet, private moment. Then he burrows his face into Jamil's chest and settles down with a big, happy sigh, apparently intent on going to sleep like that.
Jamil... almost finds that odd, the way that Kalim simply obeys him without being stubborn about it first. But it's easy enough to settle in like this, and Jamil's certainly not going to complain about having peace and quiet for once, and he ends up drifting off to sleep unusually quickly.
If Kalim happens to wake before Jamil does, he should be delighted to find Jamil is still a stage 5 clinger ❤️
He does, and he's thrilled. He's determined at first to make the absolute most of this rare treasure, and so he spends some time just watching Jamil sleep, utterly entranced even though Jamil is, like, actively drooling onto his pyjamas. Perhaps even because Jamil is actively drooling onto his pyjamas. Jamil would never let himself drool if he was awake. Kalim can't look away.
Unfortunately, though, no matter how much he wants to stay in this perfect moment getting drooled on for ever, he's only able to hold off his body's morning demands on him for so long. And while ideally Kalim would be able to just slip out of bed and leave Jamil to sleep while he scurries off to the washroom, unfortunately Jamil has him in a grip like a boa constrictor.
He wiggles slightly, to no avail.
"Jamil," he says in a stage whisper. He jostles him. "Jamil, wake up."
Jamil responds exactly the way cats do sometimes when they're nudged awake, which is pull whatever he's clinging to even tighter to himself, almost like a stretch. Needless to say, he isn't fully awake yet and Kalim is now worse off than before.
"Jamiiiil," Kalim whines miserably, shoving at him. This is heartbreaking. Normally he would be loving this. "Jamil, you gotta wake up, I need to go to the bathroom..."
Jamil lets out a particularly inarticulate groan and buries his face in Kalim's hair, clearly very reluctant to wake up right now. Getting Kalim's hair up his nose seems to do the trick for him to realize it isn't a pillow he's holding, though, and he freezes as his eyes finally snap open.
"Agh!" he yelps, scrambling to shove Kalim away from him in panic. Unfortunately, the force of his also pushes him to the edge of the bed, which he promptly rolls off.
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And he hasn't figured that out yet (as he tends to get flustered and lose the details in those times that he's tried, in the middle of the night when he's sure Kalim is asleep), so... it can't happen now. Kalim will just have to wait.
Of course, the easiest dodge is to simply pretend like he doesn't know what Kalim means. To try and deescalate things, Jamil gently removes Kalim's hands from his waist under the pretense of needing to return to his Very Important Folding. "Aren't you a little old for that?"
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He trails off meaningfully, as if hoping if he doesn't actually say the actual words then Jamil won't get spooked.
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"Kalim, come on," he says, jostling Kalim's shoulder.
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"We don't have to do anything," he tries. "I'd be okay with just being next to you."
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And... he'll blame it on their imprint, but it doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world. So.
"Fine," he mumbles eventually, turning back to where he'd left the folded clothing (you know why). "Just let me put these away first."
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"Okay! I promise I won't keep you up or anything!"
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"Move over."
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"Mm. Because I love you," he replies happily, tugging the blankets over them in a rather haphazard fashion. "Goodnight, Jamil!“
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It will never not feel surreal to hear it from him. I love you. He doesn't even care if Jamil says it back.
Which he's never done. For the first time, he considers if he wants to. He immediately tenses with embarrassment at the thought, warm pinpricks traveling from his head down to his feet and almost making him overheat with Kalim right next to him. Worst of all would be the way Kalim would react, so decision made, it's never happening. Kalim will just have to content himself with silence, as always.
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He shifts a little, trying not to think about that. Fortunately Kalim is really good at not thinking about things, and he has plenty to be occupied with in the present moment regardless. He ventures an arm around Jamil and nuzzles his cheek against the back of his neck.
"You're so warm," he mumbles contentedly. "And you smell so good."
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Stupidly, he rolls over so that they're face-to-face instead.
"Stop smelling me--" (freak,) "--and go to sleep."
He regrets it immediately, suddenly this close to Kalim looking right at him. Kalim's arm is still around him and his breath is warm against Jamil's face. It reminds Jamil a little too much of those times Jamil had slept in Kalim's bed as children, hidden under the covers and huddling close like they were sharing a secret, when they were still young enough that the difference in their status hadn't yet pulled them irreparably apart. It completely undercuts the stern tone he's trying for.
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"I am going to sleep," he promises. "I just -- I missed you. I want to make the most of it."
You know. By smelling him.
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"If I kiss you good night, will you stop pestering me?" he mutters, trying his best to sound put-upon.
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"Yeah," he says breathlessly.
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"Now shut up," he says softly, cheeks burning.
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If Kalim happens to wake before Jamil does, he should be delighted to find Jamil is still a stage 5 clinger ❤️
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Unfortunately, though, no matter how much he wants to stay in this perfect moment getting drooled on for ever, he's only able to hold off his body's morning demands on him for so long. And while ideally Kalim would be able to just slip out of bed and leave Jamil to sleep while he scurries off to the washroom, unfortunately Jamil has him in a grip like a boa constrictor.
He wiggles slightly, to no avail.
"Jamil," he says in a stage whisper. He jostles him. "Jamil, wake up."
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"Agh!" he yelps, scrambling to shove Kalim away from him in panic. Unfortunately, the force of his also pushes him to the edge of the bed, which he promptly rolls off.
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