[Getting an answer means he doesn't have to go the less polite route of employing his Arthropoda senses to scour Belle Ville for Jamil's house, so that's a start.]
Sure, sure, I just thought you'd want more privacy~! There's a little public plaza near the entertainment districts in Belle Ville? It gets enough ambient noise that I doubt anyone will overhear us there (*^^*) Evening is fine, I can do tonight or tomorrow night
[Privacy at the apartment is limited with two ever-present and really annoying roommates... both of which already know everything that happened, but Jamil would still rather involve them as little as possible.]
Tonight then.
[Better to just get it over with.
In keeping with that philosophy, the next evening, Jamil makes an excuse to leave the house as soon as night falls. He knows the plaza Momo is talking about, and it doesn't take very long to get there--he's sure he'll arrive first.
But he stays out of sight, invisible in the shadows at the edges until he sees Momo show up. He likes having the upper hand that way. Plus it's embarrassing to be visibly kept waiting.
Hopefully all he'll need to do here is let Momo air his grievances and it'll be a quick conversation.]
[Momo is, however, used to turning up at an assigned time being late, and so he's likely to be there about 10 or 15 minutes before the actual time they can meet, having left before nightfall. While he's sitting on a bench and scrolling through his Syntrofos at first glance, his antennae are sweeping the plaza, detecting for familiar scents, impressions, or sensations, or even simply the feeling of something being not quite right that they tend to flag all too easily.
It means regardless of how invisible to the eye Jamil might be, Momo's antennae settle in his direction as soon as he feels his presence (or lack of it, as the case may be), and his head turns to follow a moment later.]
Ah, you got here quickly! That makes things easier. [He wasn't completely convinced he might not have to resort to the less polite plan if Jamil didn't show. As it is, Momo doesn't appear visibly angry at the moment as he puts his Syntrofos away, but he's certainly paying attention to Jamil's behaviour - perhaps with some concern in it.]
[Jamil's a bit miffed that Momo's bug perception means Jamil doesn't get to have the drop on him. As soon as Momo acknowledges him, Jamil appears out of the shadows nearby, his smoke body forming the illusion of a whole, flesh-and-blood person much more easily than he had managed the last time. Aside from his typical snake features, he looks much the same as he had before he'd lost his body entirely months ago.
He mimes leaning against one of the plaza's stone seats, not quite looking directly at Momo--out of the typical reasons that the imprint blind spot can only do so much for his phobia, but also maybe a little out of guilt.]
[Momo hums an assent, leaning back in his seat a bit (his wings draped over the back, as usual). The turning of Jamil's gaze is something he's choosing to interpret as meaning that he might regret what happened, and isn't just discomfort with looking at Momo, and if that's true then that might be a promising sign.]
I would've done it earlier, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't rushed. [And he's been quite busy since it happened, considering he had to add moving Yuki out of the Valentia onto the list of things he was doing.] Before anything else, I want to ask why you did what you did, why you resorted to possessing him by force. In your own words.
[His tone is calm...but perhaps calm enough that it might come off as controlled rather than natural calm at the moment. He's not going to outright say that Jamil hit a trauma trigger for Yuki, because that's giving away an exploitable weakness, but Momo's familiar with the Spectral ability to trigger fear and wrap someone in an illusion, and it's been a rough enough experience for him in the past when he doesn't have any particular phobias of his own.]
[Starting out playing hardball, are we? Jamil is silent as he chews over his answer, still not looking at Momo. He has a feeling lying won't do him any favors--Momo would just see through him somehow. He will simply have to be diplomatic with the truth.]
I learned recently that I need to possess others in order to feed. I figured it would be better to ask forgiveness than permission, considering no one was likely to let me do so willingly. [Though he'd been proven wrong on that a few times after, and maybe that's cowed him a little.] Him, I simply happened to come across at random.
[His words have been clipped and clinical thus far, but here his tone softens a little.]
For what it's worth... the intention wasn't to cause any distress.
[He actually has no idea what his victims experience.]
Edited (changed my mind on icon immediately after posting lmao) 2026-01-23 00:20 (UTC)
[There's a slight pause at the notion that the intention wasn't to cause any distress, as Momo seems to assess him for a moment to weigh that statement. He knows now that Spectrals can lie to him without issue from his Arthropoda soul, but he's had to be good at reading that sort of thing for a long time. As such, he doesn't take it as a lie.]
From my experience - and from what I heard here, too - Spectral powers often base themselves in fear, and whatever you did to put him in a position to possess was the same. So while that might not have been the intention, there's only so much that means here.
Especially when I would've let you feed on me, if you'd actually asked. "Better to ask forgiveness than permission" might work for some things, but there's a lot of people here who would be willing to offer something like that if it would spare others having to suffer. The way it unfolded, the collateral damage, it could've been avoided.
[And Momo only would've been more likely to do it if the alternative was ripping through any number of random people, few of which he imagines had the recourse Yuki had with him scaring Jamil out almost immediately. His tone is direct, and his gaze rests on Jamil with a particular intensity; he understands that it's not an easy thing to be burdened with, but when his own explanation of it is that he decided for himself rather than ask anyone else that nobody would allow him to feed, he does have to bring home that at a certain point, it became a choice.]
You don't know what you're offering. It wouldn't spare anyone suffering, the experience isn't any more pleasant when you agree to it.
[For him, partly. He can only control a body when he's the only mind conscious in it--in all other situations, he's simply a passenger in the back of someone's mind, stuck being puppeted around in an unfamiliar body. He hates that feeling, could only stand it with Kalim when he was able to fold him into unconsciousness in other ways, but--well. Even besides that, the effects are still awful, no matter which way Jamil drains the energy. Harm is still being done. Anyone who'd willingly volunteer for it is an idiot, not a hero.
Kalim would do it in a heartbeat--problem solved, huh Momo?--but he's not an option again, ever.
But admitting that to Momo feels a little too close to vulnerability for Jamil to ever be comfortable with, even if it might make him come off more sympathetic, so he doesn't. He would simply rather die than be perceived.]
If you ask me... getting it over with all at once is the better option.
I wouldn't call going through several people to deal with it the better option - Spectrals are already struggling in the public eye, you dealing with it like that even once is going to have lasting effects on more than just you. Not to mention the fact that the Augmented have already gone through more than enough even without factoring in things from home, and if the process of forcing a possession pulls on fear, you risk dragging things back up that people might already be struggling to heal from. [Like the events of October, for example. While his tone remains patient, he's quite firm in his words; general preference to be understanding doesn't mean he's lacking in backbone on these topics.] And I know that someone possessing me and feeding on me isn't going to be a pleasant experience, that's clear enough. It doesn't change the fact that I would've let you do it if you'd asked.
[As fluffy as Momo likes to behave a lot of the time, he's not so naive as to think that a feeding process isn't going to leave him in rough shape at the absolute most optimistic. And he's also not naive enough to think Jamil is telling him the entire truth here, but for now, he won't pursue it as incisively as he could, since he figures that's just likely to make things worse.
He will, however, at least ask the more obvious question.]
Is it unpleasant for you as well? If you're talking about getting it over with.
[Jamil is mulishly silent throughout Momo's little speech, clearly resentful of having to hear it--but he doesn't argue. There's nothing to argue with; everything he's saying is right, and Jamil already knows it.
Except for one thing: he doubts that Momo really would have volunteered if asked. Jamil knows the type Momo claims to be. It's easy to claim to self-sacrifice, harder to actually commit when the time comes. Most don't. But that's something he knows better than to pick a fight about.]
...I can only take control of someone's body while they're unconscious.
[He scowls. He's aware that admitting something this selfish leaves any hope he has of retaining sympathy dead in the water, but it is what it is.]
Otherwise I'm just... in there with them, stuck doing whatever they're doing. I can feel and do things like it's my own body, but only what they choose to do. If you must know, no, I don't love it.
[Momo is the type to try and see things from all angles, so in this case, he's still capable of seeing the other side. It is somewhat hypocritical, but as a self-accepted hypocrite, he can understand that sort of urge.]
So it's basically you lose your autonomy, or they lose theirs. [Not a pleasant option either way, but he does curl a hand under his chin thoughtfully, assessing.] Coming to an agreement with someone to do something in particular during that time could be one compromise option, or spreading it out further so you're not in that state as long. I understand you'd definitely find it preferable to stay in control, but there's really only so much you can ask when you're feeding on someone, so trying to lessen the frustration of riding backseat would probably be the best target.
[It's selfish and would make it a much harder sell for most people, yes, but it's not as if it's not understandable as to why losing control isn't comfortable. So he doesn't pick on it further than outlining that given the situation, he's likely going to have to be the one to make that sacrifice.]
[Jamil's expression flattens with frustration. They're circling back to the same impasse--the premise that Momo and Jamil will likely never agree on, that people will simply let him possess them out of the goodness of their hearts. Despite the fact that he's already encountered several examples to the contrary...]
And why would anyone do that at all? What would they get out of it? Having to recuperate on top of being possessed for no benefit is something no one will just volunteer for.
[Momo's brows lift rather visibly at the notion that no one will volunteer, before he rather pointedly raises his hands, and then opens them out in something like a conciliatory motion.]
I've already volunteered at least twice this conversation, I wouldn't mind talking things over. There are people here who are prepared to help others like that, even if you might not be used to it. [Or might not do it personally. He's seen that "what are they getting out of it" kind of attitude before, and it's often because that's simply what that person's experience has told them happens, that everyone wants something. Momo has to field it back home as well, because while he would like to give people the benefit of the doubt, in his industry people more often than not do want something.]
But there's also people who can see the bigger picture - they might not be getting a huge personal benefit out of it, but what they are getting is not having to deal with Augmented reputation worsening if something like that rip you went on happens again, or knowing that you're not going to be going for a friend of theirs instead at a worse time. I'd be curious to know how many people you've discussed this with, and how the answers have been so far.
[He's not quite going to say he's fairly sure Jamil is mirroring what his own answer would be to getting asked something like this onto everyone else, but he's definitely asking for the responses to back it up.]
I'd rather not possess a bug, if it's all the same to you.
[It's a cheap deflection and they both know it--even if it's true--and Jamil falls silent while he stalls answering Momo's real question. Because... well...
After several seconds, he finally admits:]
...There were some that volunteered. Only so that I wouldn't possess their friends, so it isn't as if they weren't benefiting.
[Momo gives a soft, understanding sort of laugh at the initial statement, so at least he's not offended even if it's clearly a deflection - but from the subtle shift in his expression at the answer that follows, that's about what he was expecting. He would've been far more surprised if it had been discussed at all and absolutely nobody had volunteered.]
Still, that's volunteers. So multiple people have already disproven the thought that nobody would. And I think people would be willing to discuss boundaries on both sides, if they're prepared to do it in the first place.
[Given the more self-serving line of thinking Jamil seems to be taking, Momo figures framing it in that way - both parties discussing how to go about it - may make more sense to him than saying some may still be concerned with not making it an even worse experience for him than it already is. He feels most people who've been here even a little while understand that being a Spectral is difficult for a variety of reasons.]
[Jamil sniffs. Truth be told, Momo is getting to him, but Jamil is just too stubborn to admit it without poking holes in things a little more.]
And what am I supposed to do? Walk up to people and just ask if they'll play host for a while? You tell me how I'm suppose to get people to agree to that without threatening their friends first.
[Momo's brows arch with a sort of...almost familiar, dry amusement. Jamil's not the first person he's met who's been prone to assume everyone is self-serving just because of their own outlook, though he makes for an easier discussion than Ryou ever had.] Well, you've already asked people at this point, haven't you? So you can bring it up with them again now that the topic's come up. I think you're overestimating how much the friend-threatening is affecting this - some people are going to be more willing than you might be in the opposite situation to just help someone.
[Some, not all, certainly. But most can also see the broader picture that letting someone reach starvation point is going to endanger more people without directly having to have their friends threatened about it, as well.]
[Jamil stares at Momo for a long, long time, his eyes narrowed into slits and his mouth pressed into a thin line. Finally, he throws up his hands with a click of his tongue, exasperated. He doesn't really have anything else to say in his defense and he'd like to be done with this conversation.]
Fine, whatever. I'll ask permission next time if it's so important to you. Is that what you want? Anything else?
[Momo simply waits Jamil out on the response - he gets the impression the pause is because he doesn't have much of an argument left, and that's confirmed when he finally does answer. So Momo claps his hands together cheerfully, apparently content with that for now.]
Communicating and handling it before it gets to a situation like that was the idea, yeah! Ah, and-- [His smile widens a little too much, hinting at the very tips of his mandibles, currently looking like small black fangs next to his normal fangs.]
Please don't involve Yuki in this again, even by asking. I'm sure you understand?
[His tone is calm, but to a degree that wraps back around into a certain flavour of unsettling; he's well aware there's no need to be actively threatening about it, because Jamil knows full well that if Momo catches him possessing Yuki again he's going to get a faceful of nightmares at best.]
[Momo certainly doesn't need to be actively threatening--message received. Jamil eyes him, his expression pinched (and a little pale), before turning away with a huff as if Over This.]
No need for that. I can keep my distance.
[He'd have stayed far away even without the reminder--not worth the risk of Momo retaliating, not when there are so many other options.
The rest, well... he won't have to keep his promises if nothing actually gets back to Momo, but he can worry about that problem later.]
[For now, that's enough for Momo - Jamil's reluctance on the communication front does have him wondering about how he's handling this whole Spectral situation onwards from when they last spoke about it, but in this case, it's likely best not to push on it. Still, as he stands up from the seat, his smile softens a bit.]
Good. But if anything else comes up, you're welcome to come talk to me. No strings attached.
[He would hope he's got others around him he could theoretically talk to, but he knows some people balk at raising certain things with certain people, so he might as well offer the option.]
[Momo gives a bit of a puff of familiar laughter; Jamil's difficulty with this sort of thing makes him think of ZOOL, in some respects, particularly Haruka who's about the same age. Not used to this sort of communication, consideration, and so often tending to be dismissive of it.]
I did say anything else. We're all going through a lot here, and I still remember our talk about what happened in October. Having a disagreement doesn't mean I won't still support you where I can.
[Jamil is silent, his expression pinched. He unfortunately remembers all too well going to pieces in front of Momo in the weeks after they'd been abducted by Patho-Gen, but he considers it an embarrassment and not something he'd ever want to repeat. Momo reminding him of it does very little to improve his mood.]
I... appreciate your previous assistance, but that doesn't make us friends. [Imprint aside. Don't worry about it.] I can agree to stay out of your business if you'll stay out of mine.
I don't have to be someone's friend to support them, you know? And the imprint means we'll have to be around each other at least a little. [He's unperturbed by the less than enthusiastic reaction, though he does understand not wanting to make a habit of it, given how he tends to treat his own instances of falling apart. So his smile quirks a little, acknowledging but not exactly apologetic.]
I'm pretty nosy, so I don't know if I can make an agreement like that. But you know where to find me if you need me, anyway.
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Sure, sure, I just thought you'd want more privacy~!
There's a little public plaza near the entertainment districts in Belle Ville? It gets enough ambient noise that I doubt anyone will overhear us there (*^^*)
Evening is fine, I can do tonight or tomorrow night
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Tonight then.
[Better to just get it over with.
In keeping with that philosophy, the next evening, Jamil makes an excuse to leave the house as soon as night falls. He knows the plaza Momo is talking about, and it doesn't take very long to get there--he's sure he'll arrive first.
But he stays out of sight, invisible in the shadows at the edges until he sees Momo show up. He likes having the upper hand that way. Plus it's embarrassing to be visibly kept waiting.
Hopefully all he'll need to do here is let Momo air his grievances and it'll be a quick conversation.]
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[Momo is, however, used to turning up at an assigned time being late, and so he's likely to be there about 10 or 15 minutes before the actual time they can meet, having left before nightfall. While he's sitting on a bench and scrolling through his Syntrofos at first glance, his antennae are sweeping the plaza, detecting for familiar scents, impressions, or sensations, or even simply the feeling of something being not quite right that they tend to flag all too easily.
It means regardless of how invisible to the eye Jamil might be, Momo's antennae settle in his direction as soon as he feels his presence (or lack of it, as the case may be), and his head turns to follow a moment later.]
Ah, you got here quickly! That makes things easier. [He wasn't completely convinced he might not have to resort to the less polite plan if Jamil didn't show. As it is, Momo doesn't appear visibly angry at the moment as he puts his Syntrofos away, but he's certainly paying attention to Jamil's behaviour - perhaps with some concern in it.]
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He mimes leaning against one of the plaza's stone seats, not quite looking directly at Momo--out of the typical reasons that the imprint blind spot can only do so much for his phobia, but also maybe a little out of guilt.]
You wanted to speak with me?
[As if he doesn't already know why.]
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I would've done it earlier, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't rushed. [And he's been quite busy since it happened, considering he had to add moving Yuki out of the Valentia onto the list of things he was doing.] Before anything else, I want to ask why you did what you did, why you resorted to possessing him by force. In your own words.
[His tone is calm...but perhaps calm enough that it might come off as controlled rather than natural calm at the moment. He's not going to outright say that Jamil hit a trauma trigger for Yuki, because that's giving away an exploitable weakness, but Momo's familiar with the Spectral ability to trigger fear and wrap someone in an illusion, and it's been a rough enough experience for him in the past when he doesn't have any particular phobias of his own.]
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I learned recently that I need to possess others in order to feed. I figured it would be better to ask forgiveness than permission, considering no one was likely to let me do so willingly. [Though he'd been proven wrong on that a few times after, and maybe that's cowed him a little.] Him, I simply happened to come across at random.
[His words have been clipped and clinical thus far, but here his tone softens a little.]
For what it's worth... the intention wasn't to cause any distress.
[He actually has no idea what his victims experience.]
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From my experience - and from what I heard here, too - Spectral powers often base themselves in fear, and whatever you did to put him in a position to possess was the same. So while that might not have been the intention, there's only so much that means here.
Especially when I would've let you feed on me, if you'd actually asked. "Better to ask forgiveness than permission" might work for some things, but there's a lot of people here who would be willing to offer something like that if it would spare others having to suffer. The way it unfolded, the collateral damage, it could've been avoided.
[And Momo only would've been more likely to do it if the alternative was ripping through any number of random people, few of which he imagines had the recourse Yuki had with him scaring Jamil out almost immediately. His tone is direct, and his gaze rests on Jamil with a particular intensity; he understands that it's not an easy thing to be burdened with, but when his own explanation of it is that he decided for himself rather than ask anyone else that nobody would allow him to feed, he does have to bring home that at a certain point, it became a choice.]
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You don't know what you're offering. It wouldn't spare anyone suffering, the experience isn't any more pleasant when you agree to it.
[For him, partly. He can only control a body when he's the only mind conscious in it--in all other situations, he's simply a passenger in the back of someone's mind, stuck being puppeted around in an unfamiliar body. He hates that feeling, could only stand it with Kalim when he was able to fold him into unconsciousness in other ways, but--well. Even besides that, the effects are still awful, no matter which way Jamil drains the energy. Harm is still being done. Anyone who'd willingly volunteer for it is an idiot, not a hero.
Kalim would do it in a heartbeat--problem solved, huh Momo?--but he's not an option again, ever.
But admitting that to Momo feels a little too close to vulnerability for Jamil to ever be comfortable with, even if it might make him come off more sympathetic, so he doesn't. He would simply rather die than be perceived.]
If you ask me... getting it over with all at once is the better option.
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[As fluffy as Momo likes to behave a lot of the time, he's not so naive as to think that a feeding process isn't going to leave him in rough shape at the absolute most optimistic. And he's also not naive enough to think Jamil is telling him the entire truth here, but for now, he won't pursue it as incisively as he could, since he figures that's just likely to make things worse.
He will, however, at least ask the more obvious question.]
Is it unpleasant for you as well? If you're talking about getting it over with.
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Except for one thing: he doubts that Momo really would have volunteered if asked. Jamil knows the type Momo claims to be. It's easy to claim to self-sacrifice, harder to actually commit when the time comes. Most don't. But that's something he knows better than to pick a fight about.]
...I can only take control of someone's body while they're unconscious.
[He scowls. He's aware that admitting something this selfish leaves any hope he has of retaining sympathy dead in the water, but it is what it is.]
Otherwise I'm just... in there with them, stuck doing whatever they're doing. I can feel and do things like it's my own body, but only what they choose to do. If you must know, no, I don't love it.
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So it's basically you lose your autonomy, or they lose theirs. [Not a pleasant option either way, but he does curl a hand under his chin thoughtfully, assessing.] Coming to an agreement with someone to do something in particular during that time could be one compromise option, or spreading it out further so you're not in that state as long. I understand you'd definitely find it preferable to stay in control, but there's really only so much you can ask when you're feeding on someone, so trying to lessen the frustration of riding backseat would probably be the best target.
[It's selfish and would make it a much harder sell for most people, yes, but it's not as if it's not understandable as to why losing control isn't comfortable. So he doesn't pick on it further than outlining that given the situation, he's likely going to have to be the one to make that sacrifice.]
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And why would anyone do that at all? What would they get out of it? Having to recuperate on top of being possessed for no benefit is something no one will just volunteer for.
[He wouldn't.]
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I've already volunteered at least twice this conversation, I wouldn't mind talking things over. There are people here who are prepared to help others like that, even if you might not be used to it. [Or might not do it personally. He's seen that "what are they getting out of it" kind of attitude before, and it's often because that's simply what that person's experience has told them happens, that everyone wants something. Momo has to field it back home as well, because while he would like to give people the benefit of the doubt, in his industry people more often than not do want something.]
But there's also people who can see the bigger picture - they might not be getting a huge personal benefit out of it, but what they are getting is not having to deal with Augmented reputation worsening if something like that rip you went on happens again, or knowing that you're not going to be going for a friend of theirs instead at a worse time. I'd be curious to know how many people you've discussed this with, and how the answers have been so far.
[He's not quite going to say he's fairly sure Jamil is mirroring what his own answer would be to getting asked something like this onto everyone else, but he's definitely asking for the responses to back it up.]
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[It's a cheap deflection and they both know it--even if it's true--and Jamil falls silent while he stalls answering Momo's real question. Because... well...
After several seconds, he finally admits:]
...There were some that volunteered. Only so that I wouldn't possess their friends, so it isn't as if they weren't benefiting.
[As if that invalidates the altruism somehow.]
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Still, that's volunteers. So multiple people have already disproven the thought that nobody would. And I think people would be willing to discuss boundaries on both sides, if they're prepared to do it in the first place.
[Given the more self-serving line of thinking Jamil seems to be taking, Momo figures framing it in that way - both parties discussing how to go about it - may make more sense to him than saying some may still be concerned with not making it an even worse experience for him than it already is. He feels most people who've been here even a little while understand that being a Spectral is difficult for a variety of reasons.]
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And what am I supposed to do? Walk up to people and just ask if they'll play host for a while? You tell me how I'm suppose to get people to agree to that without threatening their friends first.
[Is that really the only option...]
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[Some, not all, certainly. But most can also see the broader picture that letting someone reach starvation point is going to endanger more people without directly having to have their friends threatened about it, as well.]
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Fine, whatever. I'll ask permission next time if it's so important to you. Is that what you want? Anything else?
[He is not going to go around apologizing.]
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Communicating and handling it before it gets to a situation like that was the idea, yeah! Ah, and-- [His smile widens a little too much, hinting at the very tips of his mandibles, currently looking like small black fangs next to his normal fangs.]
Please don't involve Yuki in this again, even by asking. I'm sure you understand?
[His tone is calm, but to a degree that wraps back around into a certain flavour of unsettling; he's well aware there's no need to be actively threatening about it, because Jamil knows full well that if Momo catches him possessing Yuki again he's going to get a faceful of nightmares at best.]
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No need for that. I can keep my distance.
[He'd have stayed far away even without the reminder--not worth the risk of Momo retaliating, not when there are so many other options.
The rest, well... he won't have to keep his promises if nothing actually gets back to Momo, but he can worry about that problem later.]
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Good. But if anything else comes up, you're welcome to come talk to me. No strings attached.
[He would hope he's got others around him he could theoretically talk to, but he knows some people balk at raising certain things with certain people, so he might as well offer the option.]
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About what? I've already told you I have no interest in possessing a bug.
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I did say anything else. We're all going through a lot here, and I still remember our talk about what happened in October. Having a disagreement doesn't mean I won't still support you where I can.
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I... appreciate your previous assistance, but that doesn't make us friends. [Imprint aside. Don't worry about it.] I can agree to stay out of your business if you'll stay out of mine.
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I'm pretty nosy, so I don't know if I can make an agreement like that. But you know where to find me if you need me, anyway.
(no subject)