Kalim lifts his head, jerkily, like he's been slapped.
He feels at once ashamed that that's his habit, when Jamil's scorn for it is so obvious, and ashamed that he can't just smile and move on from this regardless. It's hitting him suddenly that his feelings are making this difficult, when Jamil obviously thinks it doesn't need to be. Nobody else is making a fuss over this. What does he have to complain about? Isn't this just like the rest of it, part of the price he has to pay, like his dad says, for living such a charmed life?
It's not like everything else, though. It's not like when something bad happens to him and he has to just put it behind him as quick as he can so nobody has to worry about him -- he's not the one who's suffering, and it's never over.
He takes an unsteady breath, managing to regain some of his footing.
"It's different because it's you," he replies, as if that was a neutral question and not a mean jab. "And you'd hate it if I did that, anyway."
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He feels at once ashamed that that's his habit, when Jamil's scorn for it is so obvious, and ashamed that he can't just smile and move on from this regardless. It's hitting him suddenly that his feelings are making this difficult, when Jamil obviously thinks it doesn't need to be. Nobody else is making a fuss over this. What does he have to complain about? Isn't this just like the rest of it, part of the price he has to pay, like his dad says, for living such a charmed life?
It's not like everything else, though. It's not like when something bad happens to him and he has to just put it behind him as quick as he can so nobody has to worry about him -- he's not the one who's suffering, and it's never over.
He takes an unsteady breath, managing to regain some of his footing.
"It's different because it's you," he replies, as if that was a neutral question and not a mean jab. "And you'd hate it if I did that, anyway."