Jamil isn't sure what he expected instead. Kalim to concede, maybe. Admit he hadn't really thought the implications through and try to backtrack into another argument that Jamil would have to pick apart. It hadn't crossed his mind that Kalim could have actually considered the natural conclusion to this idea and decided it was acceptable.
It stuns him to realize Kalim's attachment to him could extend this far. In Jamil's experience, that fondness had only ever meant demands on his attention without any regard for his actual feelings on the matter. Over the years, it had been easy to dismiss that disregard as the same thoughtless entitlement that plagued the majority of the Asims, irrespective of how Kalim claimed to see their relationship. It's easy to profess friendship when you're never the one who has to make the sacrifices, after all.
But here is Kalim saying he would sacrifice his own safety for Jamil's happiness, and he doesn't know what to do with that information.
"I wou--" Jamil cuts himself off before he can finish the sentence. Not even under pain of death is he going to admit that right now. The fact is, it doesn't really matter how either of them feel about it. "You're the only one who cares about that. I don't know what else to tell you."
no subject
Jamil isn't sure what he expected instead. Kalim to concede, maybe. Admit he hadn't really thought the implications through and try to backtrack into another argument that Jamil would have to pick apart. It hadn't crossed his mind that Kalim could have actually considered the natural conclusion to this idea and decided it was acceptable.
It stuns him to realize Kalim's attachment to him could extend this far. In Jamil's experience, that fondness had only ever meant demands on his attention without any regard for his actual feelings on the matter. Over the years, it had been easy to dismiss that disregard as the same thoughtless entitlement that plagued the majority of the Asims, irrespective of how Kalim claimed to see their relationship. It's easy to profess friendship when you're never the one who has to make the sacrifices, after all.
But here is Kalim saying he would sacrifice his own safety for Jamil's happiness, and he doesn't know what to do with that information.
"I wou--" Jamil cuts himself off before he can finish the sentence. Not even under pain of death is he going to admit that right now. The fact is, it doesn't really matter how either of them feel about it. "You're the only one who cares about that. I don't know what else to tell you."